First Bix, Then Whiskey and Wine

When you leap from the womb, we'll teach you how to play croquet, and how to clean bookcases, and how to write your name, and how to make mudcakes and who Bix Beiderbecke was, and all about whiskey and wine and all about Eve and Adam and where to mail your letters.

— Donald Barthelme in a 1981 letter to his unborn daughter